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The Truth Hurts

John Gregory bests seven other comics to claim the title at the first Thanksgiving Roast Battle at The Field.

by Chuck king

FORT LAUDERDALE – John Gregory proved on Tuesday night why he’s not the guy to randomly invite to the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Unless, of course, the point of that dinner is to irritate aunts, uncles and cousins.

Tossing grenades exploding with weight jokes, promiscuity, and – gasp – the inability to write punchlines, Gregory insulted his way to the championship of the first ever Thanksgiving Roast Battle at The Field.

“I shine at roasts,” Gregory said. ‘That’s really my thing. I’m a mean comic. The first thing I think of when I see another comic is the way I would insult them.”

Winning the eight-comic battle didn’t surprise Gregory.

“If I didn’t win tonight I would have killed myself,” Gregory said.

That statement may have some judges re-considering their final votes.

Gregory defeated Stephanie Wood in the contest’s final round to claim the oversized $500 check and the accompanying trophy.

“John just had some really great jokes,” said Flip Schultz, one of the three contest judges. “He just came out swinging. He had a great confidence on stage.”

Schultz, Esther Ku and show producer Brian Wright served as judges for the night. Gene Harding handled hosting duties.

In the first round comics paired off and roasted each other, with judges advancing Gregory, Wood, Pauley McPaulerson and Freddy Finnerty to the semifinals. Gregory dispatched McPaulerson and Wood bested Finnerty to set up the final showdown.

Gregory then set about chopping down Wood.

“They all prepared,” Wright said. “They all did their homework on the other roasters. And, of course, I had the best time with Esther and Flip – both great comedians.”


What does Gregory plan to do with this winnings?

“I’m going to buy bitcoin, man. That’s what I do,” Gregory said. “This trophy, we’ll see what the melt-worth value of it is and we’ll move on from there.”

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